Strategies for sensory self-regulation in autistic people

Most of the time, there isn't a specific situation that suddenly makes me explode ; instead, there are things that bother me to a greater or lesser degree, and little by little, I become overloaded and drained of energy. I might not even realize some of these situations until it's too late because my interoceptive system operates largely in "all or nothing" mode, which makes it very difficult for me to regulate myself. You know that something is throwing you off balance, or that you're inexplicably tired or irritable, but you can't pinpoint the source.

What bothers me most in my daily life is usually related to my auditory system : walking through streets with traffic or construction, the wind in my ears, taking the subway or bus, or trying to have a conversation in a moderately noisy café or office. But I'm also bothered by certain labels, textures like wool, some smells like those from a nail salon, drinking lukewarm liquids, too much visual noise in my field of vision, humid environments, and so on. If my hearing is already off, everything is amplified , and then I also can't stand the noise of electricity, the motor of my cats' water fountain, the sound of clothing seams, etc.

In general, I just keep going until I enter a state of dissociation or shutdown . For better or worse, I have a tendency to dissociate, and this allows me to externalize sensory overload ( meltdown ) in safe spaces most of the time. If I go through a period where this happens frequently and I don't have the means to stop and take care of myself, I end up in a state of exhaustion ( burnout ). This state can last for weeks, months, or years… Getting out of it is extremely difficult because sensory sensitivities are heightened, there's executive dysfunction, etc., and all of this is very frustrating. It's a very difficult cycle to break. You have to make a radical acceptance of your situation, understand that your abilities (at least temporarily, but sometimes permanently) have been reduced, and that you need to use everything at your disposal to make your life easier. Time and patience are essential, and if you don't have a recognized disability, as is my case, they are very difficult to come by.

For me, knowing I'm autistic has been essential in this regard . From a very young age, I've accumulated diagnoses of depression, OCD, eating disorders, GAD… a whole lot of acronyms! But I never understood why I had such bad luck with mental health, since there was apparently no trauma or family history that could justify this string of diagnoses.

At 28, I saw a video on social media of a young woman who cooks vegan, explaining that she had just discovered she was autistic. She talked about why it had never crossed her mind that she could be autistic, because we have a stereotype of an autistic person with a very specific set of traits, when in reality we are part of an extremely diverse spectrum . She also talked about sensory challenges she faced daily, which before her diagnosis she thought were common. She talked about masking , and how women seem to be more prone to it. At the time, it didn't click for me, but neurodiversity became a very intense interest of mine. As I read more about different profiles, I saw more and more that this interest was driven by a very powerful force: the sense of belonging. At the same time, I began to realize that many things I thought were common weren't, like the examples I gave in my first answer. Finally, I understood that the accumulated diagnoses were a consequence of being autistic without knowing it.

It's been almost two years since my diagnosis, and I'm still learning every day . The first step to self-regulation is recognizing what triggers your dysregulation, right? Often I don't know, because in all those years without a diagnosis, I perfected my masking to be like everyone else, and to do that, I had to dissociate. That's why it's often hard for me to pinpoint what's caused my dysregulation, although I'm improving. With my therapist, I've worked a lot on finding moments throughout the day when I routinely try to connect with my body, simply to better identify what triggers my dysregulation and to what extent, and to try to find self-care strategies without having to reach extremes to realize something is wrong.

Apart from that, for the things I do detect, I usually use:

• Earplugs and noise-canceling headphones.
• Clothing without tags and with soft seams.
• Weighted blanket.
• Stimling (repetition of words, movements or sounds).
• Meditation and yoga.
• Listening to songs I really like on repeat.
• Schedule plenty of downtime between social events to focus on resting and my deepest interests.
• Hybrid work to take a break from interactions with others.
• Go to work by car to avoid the subway.
• Suggest quieter places when meeting up with friends and go at less busy times.
• I'll take streets with less traffic if I'm walking to places, etc.

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The clearest example is everything involved in going to work . In my previous job, I had a 40-minute subway commute with transfers during rush hour. The temperature changes, the crowds, and above all, the noise, left me arriving at the office with far less energy than I would have liked. Once there, my desk was in an open-plan office with 50 other people and constant noise. To make matters worse, I was right next to the administrative staff (receiving constant calls), the printer, and the door where everyone came in. Because of the pandemic, I was able to start working remotely, but my workday had absolutely no structure, no clear instructions, and no defined objectives. My sensory and emotional regulation in that environment was nonexistent, and it actually led to the burnout that resulted in my diagnosis. I don't believe that a diagnosis is necessary to offer reasonable accommodations where everyone can thrive , perform at their best, and not suffer the consequences.

In my current job, I drive to the office, share a small office with just a few other people, and work remotely two days a week. Even so, when I'm feeling less regulated for whatever reason, I go to the bathroom to do breathing and stimming exercises. My superiors have been open to adapting to my needs simply by explaining how I work best, without needing to disclose my diagnosis.

It depends on whether the person can communicate their needs at that moment. In that sense, it's good for each autistic person to explore what works best for them and communicate this to those closest to them so they know how to act in case of a crisis. Generally, it's a good idea to help the person get to a quiet, safe place with reduced stimulation so they can regulate their emotions. If they have trouble communicating, it's best to give them space and not bombard them with questions because that will only overwhelm them. Otherwise, a simple "What do you need?" might be enough. Perhaps it's closing the window because there's too much noise or smell from the street, telling them it's okay if they want to use earplugs while you talk in a noisy place, finding a less crowded café, etc. Or perhaps it's being alone for a while, doing stimming without anyone staring, or calling a taxi to go home because you've reached your limit.

Validating our experience and not making us feel bothered by needing adaptations will help us feel comfortable communicating, and will help us avoid unnecessary suffering and prevent avoidable crisis situations.

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